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All the Things I Wasn't

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Category: Amway, Battle of the Blades, CBC, Canada, Skate Canada, figure skating

There are some uniquely Canadian combinations that, at first glance, seem odd, but end up being greater than the sum of their parts: cheese curds, gravy, and french fries; maple syrup and beans (I've come to the realisation that maple syrup and eggs is a strictly Menardian thing); the eclectic mix that is spruce beer…

Now, may I add another: hockey and figure skating.

Seriously, does it get any more Canadian than that? It's more Canadian than Anne Murray and Leonard Cohen's would be. It's more Canadian than publicly funded bad TV serial dramas about life in Prince Edward Island! So what do you get when you blend the worlds of toe picks and hockey pucks?

You get the Battle of the Blades – a reality competition that pairs retired NHLers with Canadian figure skating elite. And, of course, we had to be part of that, so ARTISTRY is proud to be the official skin care and cosmetics sponsor of the event.

It's a seven-week competition, broadcast on the CBC. Every Sunday night you'll see the couples compete head-to-head in pairs skating competition. And every Monday night, someone goes home.

Who am I rooting for? Well, despite being an avid Habs' fan, I'm going to have to pledge my allegiance to a power that's far greater than even the exalted bleu, blanc, et rouge of mes Habitants! Yes, for the duration of this show I firmly stand in the corner of one of the greatest natural phenomenons the world has ever known — Ron Duguay's hair.

Seriously. Look at it!Share photos on twitter with Twitpic   Duguay was, is, and always will be hockey hair. Sure, now he may be more of a latter-day Jon Bon Jovi, but the aura of hockey greatness remains.

So, other than Duguay who is paired with former world champion and five-time Canadian champion Barbara Underhill, who else is competing? Here's the rundown:

  • Claude Lemieux, who claimed Lord Stanley's grail with three different squads over a career that included a brief comeback last season, and 2003 world champion and eight-time Canadian champion Shae-Lynn Bourne;
  • Glenn Anderson, a multiple (6!) Cup-winning Hall of Famer who is fourth all-time in NHL playoff points scored, and former world champion and two-time Olympic medalist Isabelle Brasseur;
  • Former 50-goal man and two-time Cup winner Stéphane Richer and two-time world silver medalist Marie-France Dubreuil;
  • Three-time Stanley Cup champion Ken Daneyko and two-time Canadian bronze medalist Jodeyne Higgins;
  • Former NHL tough guy Tie Domi and former Canadian champion Christine Hough-Sweeney;
  • Another of the all-time rough-and-tumble greats, Bob Probert, and Kristina Lenko; and
  • Craig Simpson, former 50-goal scorer and two-time Cup champion, and world and Olympic champion Jamie Salé.

Should we get the obligatory jokes out of the way? I'd like to think that I'm a better man than stooping so low as to say it would be nice for Domi to it all so that a Leaf can finally lay claim to winning something. Or I'd like to think I'm above stating that Lemieux chose the wrong show and should be joining Alexandre Despatie in a show called "Canada's Greatest Diver."

You're right, I am above saying those things!

Basically each week the pairs compete in a pairs routine. Canada votes and each week one team goes home. Now, admit it, you're dieing to see Lemieux in Spandex and sequins, right? Or whether Domi and Probert will perform their routines in the penalty box? It's like Dancing with the Stars on ice, and it should be good for a few laughs and a few surprises.

Surprises? I'm a big So You Think You Can Dance and Dancing with the Stars fan (I admit it!) and one of the things I love about those shows is that someone always comes up and shocks you with their talent. Listen, switching from hockey skates to toe picks isn't easy, but I think we'll see some good routines.

So who's my favourite? Again, Duguay's hair. But realistically, I think Simpson and Salé will take it. Craig always could skate well (something that Domi and Probert can't really lay claim to…) and memories of the scandal that eventually led to Jamie and partner David Pelletier winning gold in 2002 are still fairly fresh. Isabelle Brasseur was phenomenally popular and could bring forth a lot of votes. And Duguay's partner, Barbara Underhill, stands to be the sentimental favourite for the event. Veteran figure skating fans may galvanize behind her (and, of course, Duguay's hair will weave its magic), while some of the younger skaters may split the vote.

Who won't? Well, I'm sure the CBC would love to see Domi take home the title, but I think the ol' ABT (AnyoneButToronto) bias will come to the fore. Ex-Oilers don't foster the same hate in fans of other teams like ex-Leafs, so sorry Tie. 

The pugilists will trade in chucking knuckles for lifts and lutzes; the goal scorers will lay down their sticks and pick up a BeDazzler; and fans across Canada will tune in to see it all happen. And the ARTISTRY brand is front and centre throughout it all — both at the event and during the broadcasts.

We'll try to live-Tweet the event Sunday night. Make sure you follow @AmwayCanada for the latest scoop. As well, make sure you check back here (and the What's New section of amwayglobal.com) for updates and other news!

So who do you think will win? Who do you want to win? Are you going to be watching? Share your thoughts on the Battle of the Blades in the comments below — I'd love to hear from you!

All the best,

Jay